When Things Go Bump in the Night
In most horror movies, especially the classic slasher flicks when things go bump in the night, the boogeyman doesn’t ever carry a firearm.
I guess because it’s more terrifying to be chased through the woods by a dude carrying a large machete or a chainsaw that never runs out of gas. Besides, a gun would be quicker and less splattery.
Somehow, though, even if our hero carries a gun, the boogeyman brings a knife to the fight and always wins. Michael Myers in the Halloween franchise is case in point—though Michael is human (or at least starts out that way) he manages to survive nine sequels after getting shot multiple times, stabbed and even blown up.
In the 2018 comeback of both Michael Myers and his sister, Laurie Strode, we think it may finally be the end but according to CNBC, there will be two more Halloween reboots—one in 2020 and one is 2021.
Now, we all know that Michael Myers is a figment of John Carpenter’s imagination and he, like his other supernatural brethren, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Pennywise the Clown and Pinhead do not exist.
And thanks to a bunch of drunk, sex-crazed teenagers, there are plenty of things we know NOT to do if we happen to encounter said boogeymen.
10 Rules for Surviving a Horror Movie
- Don’t split up.
- Never take a shower or bath when alone.
- Don’t investigate a noise with just a golf club.
- If masked strangers show up in the yard, just leave.
- Take the advice of the weirdo gas station attendant—turn around and go back home.
- Creeping around hollering “who’s there?” is an easy way to not hear someone behind you.
- Avoid the homes of strangers.
- Don’t pick up hitchhikers.
- Never read out loud, play a record or solve a puzzle that has cryptic symbols on it.
- And for God’s sake, stay locked and loaded.
For real though, what are you supposed to do if you hear a suspicious noise in the middle of the night? Whatever you do, don’t go investigate. If your landline isn’t cut and your cell phone isn’t mysteriously smashed—call 9-1-1 and report a possible break-in.
After alerting law enforcement, arm yourself with your firearm and flashlight so you can positively identify and possibly, temporarily blind any threats.
In general, thieves don’t want to face a homeowner. However, out of the 1,650,000 home robberies that occur every year, 27% of those break-ins happen when someone is home—resulting in 26% of those home being injured. The last thing a burglar wants is to be caught and they will fight.
Based on English common law practiced since 1628, thankfully, in America, your home is your castle and you have the legal right to protect it. Most firearm owners say the number one reason for owning guns is for protection and fortunately, for the boogeyman that shows up at your house, that gun is the only sure way you’ll stop him.
What to do During a Home Break-In
- Above all, have a plan. Establish a safe room and an escape plan. Make sure everyone in the house knows what to do and where to go during an emergency.
- Gather in your safe room and quietly lock the door. Do not yell out or investigate.
- Call 9-1-1. Tell the operator your name and address, where you are located in the home, that you are armed and where you hear the possible thief/thieves. Stay on the line.
- Stay in your room with the door locked and position yourself opposite the door, behind cover if possible. This gives you the tactical advantage if you have to shoot.
- In states that have a duty to retreat law and you can safely escape, then do so.
- Don’t leave the safe room until the police have cleared the house and told you to come out.
There is no way of knowing 100% how you will react when faced with a threat, but planning, preparing and practice will help you respond appropriately.